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  • Writer's pictureAngie Santiago

2020 has ended. So what?

So it's the last day of 2020. So what?

My ancestors perished or survived Typhoid, Spanish Flu, AIDs, multiple revolts against the Conquistadors and American colonists, slavery, plantation fields, medical experimentation, forced sterilization, nuclear poisoning, West or East Harlem during the 50s-70s, sexual assault, domestic violence, police violence, discrimination, poverty, illiteracy, lack of clean water, education, and healthcare.

In my short life, we've lost our matriarchs and patriarchs, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, and children. In 1999, we lost the heartbeat of my generation when my cousin and BFF, Tony Santiago, died suddenly in a plane crash. Since then, my Colon cousins lost their both their parents and three of their siblings in a span of 4 years.

Yet, here we are in 2020.

I respect and acknowledge the losses we've experienced collectively in 2020. While I'm grateful to only lose one loved one in 2020, a world without Charlotte Arrocha is confusing to navigate.

I won't look back on 2020. Hell, I even managed to graduate and obtain my Masters of Arts in Peace & Conflicts on May 2020. So what?

As it was on NYE 1999 when we lost Tony, I don't look forward to 2021 with some kind of false hope. Because tomorrow, we will still miss Charlotte. I will still see the sadness in my best friend's eyes as she grieves the loss of her big sister. There's nothing I can do or say cuz I know; time doesn't heal all wounds. There's still a void in my life where Tony should be.

Tomorrow, in 2021;

  • There will still be millions of black and brown boys, girls, women, and men in our prisons.

  • There will still be thousands of brown bodies in US immigration detention centers

  • There will still be thousands of brown children separated from their family at the border.

  • There will still be unknown numbers of police officers who practice violence on brown and black, poor, or mentally ill bodies.

  • There will be hundreds of new billionaires who will yield their influence over our political leaders.

  • There will be millions of American citizens in our territories who still suffer from lack of self-determination, corruption, violence, and disasters.

As of today, 1.8 million lives have been lost to the pandemic alone. This doesn't include lives lost due to violence, force migrations, mass incarcerations, suicide, accidents, hunger, cancer, and types of deaths.

Does that number go down in 2021? No. It's a meter set by institutions to measure the outcomes to justify additional funding for their programs designed to determine the health and fate of billions of vulnerable lives around the world.

So 2020 has come to end. So what? Time to dance.

I'll do what my people have done since millennia. In gratitude, I will acknowledge that I'm still here. I will light the candles on the altar, dance, and meditate. I will eat, drink, and dance again. Tomorrow, if I'm fortunate; I'll rise up to live another day.

Dance with me?

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